43/52

Ellery: fistful of starfish

Aubrey: monkey see

A stay-at-home holiday. A trek to the western beach. You wanted to throw them back in. So we stopped.

42/52

Ellery: perpetual motion

Aubrey: bed hair, golden light

loudly, relentlessly

I wrote this post in the thick of winter, from a boundless marsh of illness, with a clingy baby and a moody not-quite four-year-old who whose daily meltdowns sucked most joy from our waking hours. Things have evolved, somewhat, but much still applies.

There is so much I feel I need to say about life right now. But life speaks for itself. Loudly, relentlessly.

Our days overflow. There is no stopping until we are dizzy with exhaustion. I feel in a state of constant drowning, often swallowed by screaming kids and mess and chaos. Unable to attend to the demands of work, because needy kids. Unable to meet the needs of kids, because work.

We've had weeks and months brimful of moments so calamitous and trying they are best put behind us. The dance between two houses continues to wreak a toll. I cannot fathom how we have been doing this for four years. The equivalent (in travel time, in packing/unpacking, in fullness of itinerary) of an interstate trip every fortnight, with two small humans in tow. It's unsettling to say the least. We have so little downtime. We have aged at warp-speed. I realise it's probably a thing among mothers of (multiple) small humans, but I have lost a lot of my bliss.

This island, these four years have been beautiful and astounding and we are ever grateful to have landed here. We've laid down memories steeped in saltwater and sunsets. Childhoods begun in the sand. Eyes drinking in the exquisite ocean-bound world. And there is all the bliss to be found here in these moments.

I think I am allowed to say, we have reached a place of in-between. We are dreaming up changes, mentally readying ourselves for life beyond the lighthouse. It's impossible to know what will evolve, but we are ready and willing and offering our best selves up to what the future may hold.

* Small point, but hat nappy up there belies the fact that I was cloth nappying until recently because nappy changes have become the penultimate screamfest.

41/52

Ellery: rainbow at his heels, friend in sight

Aubrey: boy and the ball

Somewhere along the line I've fudged the weeks. Two kids, two houses, a job and lighthouse logistics are getting the better of me.

The weather is sublime right now. We're booking a mini staycation.

Portraits from a week we had friends stay, a total rarity. And Ellery has been all sorts of gorgeousness, save his newly acquired whine, completing the big kid feel. 

39/52

Ellery: proud of your new chair

Aubrey: pudgy fingers and blueberry mouse whiskers

You both seem so much more grown up all of a sudden. It is breaking my heart a little.

This week you both got new chairs - in the hope it would make table time, whether eating or playing - a bit more focused. Tick.