in conversation

Today he is 15 months old. Sometimes I wish he'd stayed smaller longer. (And to those who say it goes too fast, try witnessing your baby put on s-i-x times his weight in the first year!). But gosh I love the older him, and he is visibly older every day. This morning he picked up a block and told me it was 'neen' (green). I asked him if he wanted to play with his beads and he told me 'bzzzz' (bees!). For lunch I asked if he wanted some chicken sandwich. He replied: "buk buk!"

Where did this little colour-recognising comedian come from? 

He makes me laugh and melt and gasp all at once. It astounds me how much he understands. And his mental leaps! He says 'nunny' (honey) when I pour sand! The sink is a 'ba' (bath), the toilet is a 'ba' and an empty bucket is a 'ba'. He parrots our conversations. His vocabulary has grown exponentially since my last post. He is always listening. Usually while he is busy doing something.

Yesterday he put countless hours of hand-held walking practice into motion and got going on his own. It's so lovely to see him finally have the confidence to do this! Though he was wailing worriedly as he went the first day. And then this afternoon, he didn't want my hand...

I didn't get a decent photo or video of his first steps. I wonder, if I could record our time properly, would it all slow down a bit? Or would I at least be more at ease with the quickening?

wordy and walking

We had a follow-up appointment earlier this week with the Children's Hospital paediatrician, who asked me how many words Ellery says. I estimated 5-10, but on reflection, he says heaps more and has recently become very much a parrot. And it is nothing short of phenomenal how much simple conversation he understands. So, for posterity, here's the words he uses now, aged 14-and-a-half months (so 12-and-a-half developmentally)... funnily some words he used to say (guitar) have disappeared.

Mum (strange because it is not 'Mama' or even 'Mummy', which are the names we use)
Daddy (which he also uses to describe any person, regardless of gender or age, or alternatively a tractor, quad bike or car because he associates these things with K. Heads and shoulders his most-used word, apart from the universal 'nar-na' which we take to mean 'look at that - tell me what it is!')
up
cheese
keys
windy ('dindy'... so cute!)
man (all people are 'man'!)
duck
banana (all fruit is called banana, don't you know!)
nanna
hat
tractor
star
car
knee
ear
me
bye-bye
bath ('ba')
broom
boom-boom (this is in a few of his books and he loves it, and bizarrely also uses it for window!)

He also makes the following sounds when prompted:

tractor/car/truck (the boy is obsessed - anything with wheels goes 'brrm'!)
monkey
bee
snake
tiger (his roar is more a meek 'ra')
lion (same noise)
crow
seal (claps hands)
cat
dog (pants)
zebra (sipping a drink, like in Hello Baby!)
wind / ocean (much the same)

Oh, and he got gold stars all round at the paediatrician, which was no surprise to us, though it came with a caveat that learning difficulties can show up years down the track. At this point, I'd like to refer the doctor to the above list. And, oh yeah, he has taken his first very tentative steps too (his confidence is jittery, his legs and balance are great).


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*Excuse me while I repeatedly bang my head against a wall at stupid hours experiment with the blog layout. Because, you know, I've got a thousand less important things to do with my time than amateurishly tweak the html...

au pair

I have hovered here a few times lately and not known where to start. I have fallen off the blogging horse. Given in to tiredness, end-of-day-brain-fuzz and the never-ending night-time settling / early rising (which seems to suddenly lift and then... whack-tumble-splat, another wonder week).

I have wanted to write for ages about life with a live-in au pair. Which has worked out a lot better than I could have hoped. I dragged my heels completely on the whole issue, but in the end it was the only way I could have returned to work (and we needed me to for many reasons), which I am doing now part-time via a telecommute arrangement. *I've got a golden ticket!* Yes, I completely realise how lucky I am in the work stakes. I have a hugely supportive boss (and executive director) who I have worked with for several years, who trusts me implicitly and has herself telecommuted way back when her kiddo was younger. Returning to work has also been great for my head, to give me a bit of breathing space. I have also recently managed (for the time being anyway) to hang onto my job when vast sections of the permanently employed public service in this Neanderthal state are marching out the door. I'm just hoping my luck continues.


So the au pair. I had dreaded sharing our space, and all the stuff of family life that inhabits it, and having to be sociable when I want to just be in my cave. But overall it has been really positive, and is sort of like the old travelling/sailing days. We're onto our second au pair already, after our first finished her three-month stint. Though I still do a lot of domestic work and commandeer the boy when I'm not working, the extra hands around the house has been nothing short of bloody fantastic. I think I got lucky with a boy who demands a lot of attention and doesn't like to nap on his own (and some of my own stupid high moral ground about no TV), so every day was a battle to get even just the bare minimum housework done, manage to feed and caffeinate myself AND fully engage with him.

The help with chores is freeing me up a bit and I am mostly managing to get some other stuff done - though I find a lot of this other stuff is all about him! Like keeping him clothed and shod, reading up on kid-stuff (devouring this site), procuring toddler chairs and potties (!) and organising photo prints (we didn't have any beyond his humidicrib days (!!), prepping activities, war-planning our missions off the island and keeping our household administrivia at bay with a big stick. I still need to get back into yoga and walking - these have slid quite a bit since I returned to work in August.

As great as it's mostly been, I have also suffered a bit from the guilts at having help. About having someone else helping with the boy, even though we have tweaked our routine so he spends most of his time with one or both of us. (Though having someone new here has been brilliant for Ellery - he has LOVED both of them and will sometimes choose to go and hang out with them.) And also it is just plain weird (though indulgent and utterly lovely, why do I even have guilt about this?) to have someone else be the dish pig!

Despite the current super-clingy and unsettled wonder 'week' (and a kimchi that is going to take me at least three days, not including fermentation, to prepare - but that's another story) I can sense that things are slowly getting easier. There is still a ridiculously huge amount of work that goes on behind the scenes to keep us living the life remote - and so much stuff that doesn't get done. But, y'know, it's getting better.

one

 

 

 

 

And then he was one!

The Grands, Nana and Uncle R congregated for a weekend of birthday festivities. The present-opening went on for days. Admittedly, I bought way too much. (Oh, how far I have strayed from my intention to be a minimalist parent ;)) His birthday loot included a djembe and assorted percussive instruments, an amigurumi rabbit, a bus scroll birth announcement poster (better late than never), blocks, a large wooden crane, a ride-on trike with trailer (possibly the same model as K had at a similar age), a Keptin Junior boy doll (adore the way he talks to it), a wooden pull-along Very Hungry Caterpillar, a wooden pull-along shimmying alligator, a bevvy of books (including a signed book from one of his publisher aunts), Duplo, a bucket and spade set, bath toys, clothes, a hand-me-down block trolley from my toddlerhood... a lighthouse (of course). I'm probably forgetting something important.

Ellery got to wear his safari suit, though K forgot to haul one of his own out of storage for the occasion.

There were funny hats. There was cake. We won't talk about the deliberation over appropriate cake choices for an actually-only-10-month-old. In the end I made a sugar-free, egg-free, still-amazingly-delicious banana cake with whipped cream. It was mostly just smashed on the highchair tray after some bemusement about what it all meant :)

We've had a run of brilliant weather and spent lots of time beachside. He even had a little paddle at Champagne Pools (how appropriate). In winter!

It seems like almost overnight he has morphed from baby into toddler. In the past six weeks, he has acquired a whole new set of skills and language. Maybe it was the wonder week that went on for months, but he has seemingly added loads more to his repertoire than ever before.

He is all about walking... or practising, with his hands held. He has the cutest little walk run gallop. Cue visions of me running everywhere in the not-too-distant future. He even tries to walk up things: walls, pot-plants, eskies. His favourite place to walk to is the laundry. He is enthralled by worships the front loader. Seriously, if I let him, he would spend all day with his nose in its orbit, pointing at its porthole door and looking from me to it with the most sincere look of amazement whilst uttering his universal word ('na-na') at intervals. (Oh and he must watch the vacuum cleaner when it's on. Now our au pair is here - another post - he's at last seen it function!) And he is known to cut repeated (repeated, repeated) laps of the metre-long lambswool rug on our circuits of the house.

It's like all the big motor stuff is coming together for him, as he's all of a sudden a pro at rolling (and will do so on request, over and over and over) and does a not-too-shabby job of backwards crawling, which ends in tears when he butts up against a wall.

He recently learnt to clap his hands, and will even stop walking to do so, if you tell him he's clever. He only needs half a bar of 'If you're happy and you know it' to get going. He has also just learnt to wave goodbye - though it looks more like a flurry of chicken wings. And point.

He is imitating words like the clappers... he has said 'dadda' for ages and can now 'say' pandanus ('nan-nanna'), banana ('banana'), star ('are'), car (was 'are' but is now just 'brrrm'), guitar ('g-ta')... can meow, woof, baa, brrrrmm for car/tractor/vacuum cleaner, 'aa-ah' for monkey, laugh like a kookaburra and caw like a crow. Still not great on mama. He understands more words too: up, apple, tummy, lighthouse (of course), grass, roll, monkey, Jade (our au pair) and probably more I can't remember right now. We did start teaching him baby signs ages ago but unfortunately let it slide.

It's only fairly recently that I realised, through reading up on a forum, that premmies can often have big developmental delays and other significant problems, beyond those that were screened for before he left hospital. Though no issues were noted at any of his follow-up appointments at hospital, he was observed to be 'a bit passive' (their words - we prefer chilled!) in his play. I think he is making up for it now.

He also has a total of at least six teeth, at last check, and more on the way.

So yeah, a lot happening in his little world. Sleep for us has been intermittently OK, with large patches of OMFG. But it's a footnote really. He just completely rocks our world every day.

Eh, there is so much more I want to capture. The way he puts his head right up close into a book to inspect a detail... his love of books ❤... the obsession with eating grass/sand/cardboard/flowers...  the way he gauges distances with an outstretched arm... faceplants the highchair tray... dances... knows very definitely what he wants and where he wants to go... and this face...

 

I can't possibly imagine what he'll be like in another year. The mind boggles. I just know it will involve a lot of running around ;)

General roundup

We are back from nearly two weeks down south. A wonderful opportunity for the Grands to see E. And how much he has changed since they last saw him - as a newborn - last October!

He is now, at nine months - going on five (years) - a delightfully feisty little boy. With the emphasis on boy. Shouting, banging, giggling, babbling, pinching, kicking, splashing, sitting, eating. And wanting to do so much more.

Despite our anxiety, he travelled like a champ.*  Though came home with his first cold. His bewilderment is etched into me :(

 

 

It was lovely to see lots of family, a few friends, and for E to meet his small second cousins. (Though I notice in this shot he appears much bigger than them!) Unfortunately my photos are in disarray - so many moments not captured :/ - and apologies for the filmreel effect.

 

 

But it is also so good to be home. The days have been sunny and warm, gentle breezes, cool mornings and evenings. Perfect. E and I spend chunks of days rug-sitting under pandanus and banksia in the yard.

And finally, FINALLY (giving myself permission to shout it), it seems the boy's reflux has all but gone. Hip. Hip. Hooray!! And. He is (usually sometimes) able to happily occupy himself with a wooden spoon while I do the dishes/make lunch etc.

I cannot begin to describe the massive improvement these things have made to our days.

I have also begun the process of applying to return to work part-time via a telecommute arrangement.

We are recruiting for, and seem to have found ourselves, an au pair.

I've been invited to do a guest post here.

I finished making a beanie and a tag monster for the boy.

I've been Instragramming. Like an ad-dict!

I have lists of things to do. On black boards, in various notebooks, and flying about in my head.

Plant the winter vegies.

Baby proof.

Print photos. Get some sort of handle on the madly spawning photos.
Throw my arms up at computer woes and defer to he who can wield its unwieldiness. 

Knit a blanket. Another beanie for the boy and one for the man. Armies for me.

Try to get a catnapping baby to sleep in a cot.

Try some more.

And try again.

Make bread.

Clean the house. Sort out my filing mess. Put away the too-small baby clothes.

Buy more boy-sized winter clothes.

Get back to yoga.

Get out of my cooking rut.

And write. Remember I have another blog.

Investigate playgroups or other opportunities for E to meet other little people.

Prepare a business case for me to telecommute.

And while we're talking about dealing with heaving bureacracies, sort out a pesky tax thing.

Finish putting together a touchy-feely box for the boy.

And email a general invite to congregate for the boy's *gasp* birthday!

And, as our colds resurface, we have just hit the next wonder week. On the early cusp. Ugh. Read: very little sleep. And that is where I am going now should have been long ago. Zzzzz. 

But not before one last gratuitous shot :)

 

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*And so did we with our super-upgrade to an Audi:)

reading therapy

The upward swing continues. Helped along by the boy's improving reflux - or at least his  becoming somewhat of a 'happy chucker' - and increasing interactive cuteness. I have also started reading two books, which both had me punching the air after about the first 20 pages.

Susan Maushart's The Mask of Motherhood: how becoming a mother changes our lives and why we never talk about it (strangely only available as a US imprint via Amazon).  And The Divided Heart by Rachel Power, a series of musings based on interviews with prominent artists about the wrestle between the incongruous worlds of kids and art (or a creative life, for those less aspirational :).

We know people who are considering babies for the first time. I have had to stop tie myself to a chair to stop from running headlong at them shrieking 'don't do it!'. (And then flail around trying to explain why without sounding frazzled, burnt and totally uncool.) Which is nothing short of awful. But now, thanks in large part to these books, I think I understand why.

Along with the highs, becoming a mum has been an often-bleak 'who moved my cheese?' experience for me, for many reasons - from traumatic birth and breastfeeding experiences to the very large role-adjustment and the demands of a refluxy baby. All with an entirely overworked, under-appreciated support network of one, who has had to deal with my frequent meltdowns whilst starting a new job and moving his wifey, new baby and our worldly possessions (minus a bus) to a windswept outpost. I have also lamented strongly the incredibly limited capacity I have now for creative time.

Thankfully I'm feeling a lot less like this. And more like someone who can see the wondrous journey unfolding. And delighting in my cutest, most edible baby.

Susan Maushart's book in particular had me simultaneously whimpering and cheering (internally of course) in recognition. In that way when someone articulates your own latent but furiously percolating thoughts. Not just one, but layers of understanding only possible through lived experience. I should add a small caveat: I have only read the first chapter, though the introduction alone snagged me good and proper.

I could be wrong, but the recent surges in E's development make me think I will enjoy parenting little kids - and then big kids - more than I've enjoyed (or often not) the new baby phase.

Anyway. This is all a bit of a jumble. But I totally recommend these books to anyone thinking baby thoughts. I wish I'd discovered them earlier - and not just before I dropped a bomb on a counsellor. One of the contentions in Susan Maushart's book is around the silence on the reality of parenthood - that we're caught up in the need to compete and compare ourselves and our babies and therefore gloss it all up and secret away the downs.

I'm not sure if it's kosher, but I'm going to email the prospective baby-ers my reading recommendations.

So there.

toof

After months of frustrated dribbly chomping, it seemed like it would never arrive. And then it finally came through! A few days shy of eight months (six months gestation). Naively, I thought that might relieve some of his discomfort. I should have known. It seems there are others following closely behind. Though, happily, we've returned to our semblance of sleep. He is back to settling reasonably well for the night -  we had wake-ups every 40 minutes after going down, for a few hours - and sleeping through, with one or two dreamfeeds - he had been waking every one to two hours for more weeks than my bleary brain can count. We've also welcomed a cooling in the weather which has been absolute bliss. We can now venture outside during the day without sweltering, and without it aggravating his reflux. Which, being aggravated by stress generally, has also benefited from the tooth arriving and the temperature drop. And it is getting lighter later, which seems to be helping him sleep longer. No 4am or 5am starts for about four days now. Hooray! This is the good stuff!

Pics of the toofy grin coming when it becomes a bit more visible.