retrospective

Early new year,

dinner with K's family.

Eating sushi, drinking wine,

unbeknownst for the last time in a while.

We dream of you, 

yet have not an inkling.

...

 Just for fun, I take a test.

I'm not even sure how they work.

He's wide-eyed when I ask him what he thinks

the faint second line means.

Probably should have mentioned I was taking the test.

Lots of googling ensues, we think yes,

but daren't get too excited.

The doctor confirms!!

4 weeks.

...

 

Fast forward - since this time positively dragged!

At 16 weeks,
starting to feel a little more comfortable and excited.

By now I have a back-catalogue of dreams about blond-haired boys
but we've decided we can wait to find out.

The little nausea I had is gone.

And the grumpy wench who purportedly took up in my skin
has fled, leaving us to our calm and happy bliss. 

In less than a week I will feel your little pulses for the first time.


...

Nearly 21 weeks.

We saw you through the womb and my goodness you are cute!

Tiny hands, fingers, feet and ears,
such an active little babe.
Even Dadda has seen you move now.

Can't wait til you grow some more and show yourself to the world! 


...

By 25 weeks
I work out that my really hard belly
is practice contractions...
already!

Lower back pain has stopped me walking to work
for the remainder it seems
but the physio steers me right.

You've been listening to Mozart, Saint-Saens, the Middle East
and my bathroom rendition of Frank Mills by the Lemonheads, 
the only non-cheesy song I know that sounds like a lullaby.

Big-time exciting news, your Dadda got a job on Moreton Island!
You'll grow up with dolphins, turtles, dugong and whales,
our little beach babe.

Everything we dreamed
seems to be falling in place.

...

Hello baby! 
(That grin? Your Dadda just spoke your maybe-name!)

By 26 weeks life is busier than ever,
especially now K is on the Island.

You are growing daily
and are a constant reminder of things more important
than the work which preoccupies me.

You love to sit in the sun
and by the way you bounce around at dinner
I can tell you're going to love your food!


...

28 weeks... 7 months!

Boy or girl? You've got us stumped.
Your legs were crossed when we saw you at 20 weeks,
so a workmate says you must be a girl, all practicalities observed.

Another had an out-of-the-blue premonition, and says boy.

Either way, I fail to get my head around
the reality of you,
connect you with the empty little clothes we've got you.

Though it finally hits me that we'll be moving house
- across the water, no less -
with a brand new babe.

OMG.


...
  

30 weeks

About a week ago I think you turned head down,
your quick little hiccups now feel really low.

Your movements have changed - lots of rolling, wavelike movements
as limbs push against diminishing space.
Your Dad likes to tickle you and watch you squirm.

Materially, we are not ready for you,
nesting thwarted
as we wait for news of a lease on the Island.

Yoga is all the preparation I need.
And the wisdom of generations
before birthing left the home.

Not long now til I finish work and can concentrate
on our journey together to welcome you into the world.


...


tbc