15 February 2014

things i know

It is nothing short of amazing to get to this end-of-pregnancy time. It is the most incredible relief to have a full-term baby inside, and still going strong at 38 weeks! Despite channelling positivity, there was always a small part of me that doubted we'd get this far, my confidence undermined by the constant monitoring and elevated concerns during the earlier part of this pregnancy.

I have also been steeling myself mentally for the weeks and months to come. The sleep deprivation, the endless feeding, the distinct possibility that feeding may again not go as I hope, the possibility of reflux, the possibility of another wired cat-napper, the extreme isolation of island life with two small people.

But the difference is, this time, I know what to expect. Or at least I think I can remember enough to know that it's going to be like running a marathon on zero sleep. Or perhaps a double marathon even.

But this time, I'm prepared for all that.

I've seen a lactation consultant with experience with genuine low supply issues. I've hired a doula, got our birth preferences written up and swotted up on optimal fetal positioning and managing a posterior labour. I'm a little bit more socially connected than I was first-time round, though there is room for improvement here. We've kept our au pair on for an extra set of helping hands around the house, a luxury I didn't think we'd need but am endlessly glad I was talked into as I hobble around after a toddler (back pain // it takes a village, etc). And our city nest means it will be a lot easier for me to decamp to the mainland with babes - or extend our stays there - when needed, for logistical or mental health purposes. In short, I'm following this savvy advice. And this time, I will let the help flow, instead of rushing to cook meals a matter of days after giving birth... *slaps head in retrospect*.

All this means I feel a lot more psychologically prepped this time round. I have also had the chance to buy a few things - a second-hand Moses basket (for portable sleeps), a new sling, some beautiful organic newborn onesies and winter knits (on sale), a sheepskin rug, a maternity bra that actually fits, and all the little newborn essentials. I've stocked up on my vitamins, had a haircut and got a few freezer meals ready to go. I've got gifts wrapped for the big brother ('baby bought you a guitar!') and some new audio books on their way. I'm even part-way through knitting a winter baby blanket that I have a reasonable chance of finishing before the weather cools, and have just started making some high-contrast wall art. Oh and the labour/hospital bag is all packed!

Having said all that, I'm also ready for things to be difficult in unexpected ways. Because every pregnancy/labour/kid is different. 

But you know what? I'm really looking forward to the future. In three days, K will be here, the end of four long months of separation. We'll get to spend some time, just the three of us. We'll enjoy musing about whether it will be a boy or girl (absolutely no inkling this time round), and maybe even agree on a name! 

And we'll get to welcome our newest little person together. And just enjoy these days, with an entire month before K is due back at work - huzzah! 


beth said...

*claps* - it's sounds like you've got everything covered and yet are prepared to ride some unexpected curves... Awesome that you have an extra pair of hands. We have been thinking of you guys - and YAY - a doula! I remain so glad I had mine... Best of luck over the following weeks - can't wait for the birth story to eventually make its way here xxx

littleearthstories said...

Thanks B! Yes the doula was a no-brainer for me this time round, esp as I was not too keen on the possibility of labouring alone. Looking forward to sharing a birth story sometime soon!! xxx