13/52

Ellery: trying to wink

Aubrey: becoming more alert

The eyes closed / eyes open diptych.

Also of note: we have entered the 'why?' zone.

And, when his brother cries, the big boy reassures him 'there are no monsters or Gruffalos'.

First smiles this week too.

the newborn daze

It’s amazing how different the newborn days have been this time around.

In the afterglow of his birth, I was surprised to find myself riding a natural love high. With butterflies! I may have even reconsidered putting my foot down at two! Temporarily. Awful to admit, but I never had that high with Ellery. Kind of understandable, I guess.

It's been so wonderful just sitting and enjoying this time. Inhaling his milky goodness. The snuffles and squeaks, the jellybean toes, the poo faces. His lagoon-deep eyes. Dark hair, blonde eyebrows. I'd totally forgotten how even the poo smells sweet!!

Giving myself over to an immense love, such an easy transition from his beautiful birth.

Breastfeeding - which last time went the shape of pears - has so far bettered my experience with E. We were lucky to have a severe tongue and lip tie diagnosed early, at three days old, and corrected on day five. I resolved from the start to commit myself to nothing other than feeding him. Lucky, because that is what he is demanding! It is literally almost non-stop.

Again, I've done all the textbook stuff. Had visits and wonderful hands-on help from a lactation consultant. And so far we've done pretty well, with just very minor formula top ups, which have needed to grow a little in the last week or so. I have read that milk intake levels off at around a month, so my theory is that he is getting almost enough from me, though it is requiring him to feed pretty much all. the. time.

That he is gaining weight practically just from me is nothing short of incredible! To me, anyway.

Also, I have just started using a supplemental nursing system - which didn't work with Ellery - and it is, surprisingly, working really well for us. I'm not sure how practical it will be to continue this non-stop feeding with a busy soon-to-be three-year-old tearing the house apart. I'm sure I'll work out the balance, but it demolished our sanity the first few days of me flying solo while K was at work.

Did I mention incredible? :-)

On the whole, I am faring really well. The nights are becoming more manageable; I can subsist on three or four hours of broken sleep, supplementing myself with caffeine! K has been nothing short of a one-man show, taking care of E and doing the lion's share of the house stuff. Our dance between two homes continues, but it's been a much softer landing than when E was born. And our au pair's return from two weeks' shore leave has eased our days. 

And the time is flying. He is changing before my eyes. As is the big boy, who has proved the greatest challenge to us possibly ever, since his brother's birth. 

And that is five weeks. All too quickly gone.

12/52

Aubrey: striking a newbie pose
Ellery: proud big brother

The big boy beams like a mother hen when he gets to hold his brother. 

I have had a few heart-in-mouth moments where I have caught him in the middle of picking him up, with good intentions, but as roughly as a two-year-old carries anything.

Joining in with Jodi.

11/52

Ellery: back in his island habitat
Aubrey: snoozing in the hammock

The week we arrived back to our island home. 

The big boy has been floating all week. He really, really missed this place.

And my first day flying solo with two! High-fives to me after it went much better than I expected. The big boy and I did a spot of baking, some painting, read lots of books (he is loving the Enchanted Wood on CD, and I have been teaching him to turn the pages when I read to him) and went for an afternoon walk. I managed to keep everyone fed (I organised his snacks the night before to avoid any hunger-fuelled tantrums). And happy (witching hour doesn't count, right?). And during our TV ban, no less. Yes, I am crazy! Nevertheless. Win!

Wish me luck for the days (and nights) ahead.

10/52

Ellery: Watching a beetle on the window
Aubrey: first bath

I am probably going to offend the sensibilities of grandparents everywhere, but yes, we are the hippy parents that didn't bathe our child until he'd been in the world for two weeks.

Joining in with Jodi.

9/52

The tornado and the mouse.

And, I have two kids! Two!!

The big boy has been relishing lots of quality time with his Daddy. So many big feelings from him, but I think (hope, pray) it's getting better. 

We are loving getting to know the small boy. His little squeaks and snorts. These newborn days are like a whole-body memory, once so distant yet familiar.

Joining in with Jodi.