27 June 2008

apologies to MOTH

I cringed as soon as I clicked publish on the last post. I know, my whingeing is unbecoming. And repetitive. Thankfully, I’ve moved on. But not without a (very lame) apology to the household.

(See how I hold myself up for public ridicule in an effort to repent? Well you will, read on...)

[queue trumpets, dervishes]

Open Apology to Members of the Household (MOTH)

Sorry sorry sorry
for shooting bristles and splinters
‘Tis the devils within and the lurgies of winter

I’ve laundered my manners
and found a stash of good cheer
In fact, I’ve got stores to last me the year!

Well may you say:
“This sounds grand on the page,
But the terminally impatient can’t wait the next rage”

“That sounds like a bet!,” I decree
“Let’s see if we can spend a month sans hostility”

I’ll corral my opinions
not shout at computer bumblings
While reciting serenity mantras to his rants and mumblings

And you’ll save multi-part technical questions
for when I’m done juggling pots,

serving dinner and offering wine suggestions

He’ll be all joy
Delighting blackbirds a-twitter
And rejoicing the cat when he misses the litter

The victor’s due?
A fine pinot and a block of dark* too!

*Victor may nominate alternative booty to similar value, but as you see, I expect to WIN!

Rules of the competition: hostility includes, but is not limited to, any grumbling, mumbling, growling or detectable ill-will in the company of, or in the audible or visual range of other Members of the Household (MOTH), whether directed at MOTH or not. This includes inanimate objects. Multiple winners and multiple losers allowed. All losers will furnish or contribute to furnishing booty for all winners. In the case of dual victors, the total pool of booty shall be doubled and split equally between each victor. In the case of a single victor, the nominated booty or alternative of similar value shall be awarded. Entry to the competition is limited to MOTH, is not required of MOTH and may proceed with two or more MOTH. The competition commences on 1/7/2008 and closes at midnight on 31/7/2008.

Told you it was lame.

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